New Year's Resolutions
Goals and Dreams are Worth Pursuing
This post is going to be a little different from the ones I’ve written so far – a self-reflection from the past year and some tips on how to achieve your New Year’s resolutions this year. Sure, resolutions get broken every year; but I have decided this year is going to be different for me.
My hope is that this will inspire you to make your 2018 year of changes as well because goals and dreams are worth pursuing!
So…I’ll start with some reflecting of my own.
I had Mathis in April of 2017 – it is crazy to think a year has passed!! I still can’t believe that very soon I am going to be a mom to a TODDLER; I am discovering just how quickly time flies!
After delivering Mathis, I took maternity leave for 24 weeks; with no family close by and husband often traveling for work, I stayed quite busy. Recovery, feeding, daily walks, laundry, cleaning, traveling, and the list goes on.
In September, I went back to work full-time, while Mathis stayed home with a nanny. My to-do list did not get smaller. Instead, I was even busier, waking up at 5:30 am to pump and get ready to be away from my baby for 10 hours, then coming home still having laundry and cleaning to do.
This crazy treadmill lasted all of 3 months when I decided to quit my job to stay home with my baby.
It wasn’t until I was visiting family for Christmas and was thinking about New Year’s resolutions, reflecting on the year, that it hit me: My baby was not a newborn anymore, in a few months he is going to be a one-year-old, but I still wasn’t where I wanted to be.
I have seen enough articles and have heard from others: “give yourself a break,” “give yourself some time to recover,” “you are doing great,” and, yes, I needed that then.
We all need validation and encouragement, especially during life-changing events. However, there are times when we need someone to give us TOUGH LOVE – to tell us “get back into gear,” “quit feeling sorry” for ourselves and to plan how we can improve.
Am I doing well? YES! But could I be doing better? YES, I could and should do better every day. Did I allow unhealthy habits to sneak into my life? Did I give up on the healthy routines that made me happy? Perhaps taking a break went the wrong way.
While we do need to rest and to refuel our minds and spirits, maybe we spend endless time on Facebook or Instagram scrolling, comparing ourselves to others, feeling jealous or not happy with what we have.
So, with that in mind, here are some topics/questions that I’ve posed to myself, and I’d challenge you as well:
- I have some laziness I need to improve. How about you?
- I sometimes prioritize things incorrectly. Do you?
- I need to make changes, even when I fear change. How about you?
- I need to hold myself to a higher standard! What about you?
- I can do better, and I WILL DO BETTER. Will you?
Just recently I saw someone posted a quote from a relationship workbook written by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrot - it truly resonated with me.
“Only a very small percentage of people put their goals in writing – but those who do are more than twice as likely to reach them as those who just talk about them. And what’s more, those who review their goals from time to time are ten times more likely to achieve them.”
This quote gave me an idea for this post.
I can put that phone down, away, when I am with my friends, my family, my baby. I can and will be a better friend. I will get better at prioritizing things; I will start waking up earlier to take care of myself instead of waking up when my baby wakes up and having no time.
Here are some tips that I am using to achieve my goals this year:
Writing down and talking about your goals.
I often noticed I had kept my goals to myself like they were top-secret. Yes, I was worried about how it will look when I fail. But then one year when we were celebrating Christmas with a few of my girlfriends, I asked about New Year’s resolutions and what they had as their goals for the upcoming year.
The way one of my friends answered struck me; she said, “I don’t believe in and don’t make New Year’s resolutions because they don’t work!”
But why is that!? Perhaps those goals are never spoken out, we only think of them at the beginning of the year, but never revisit them to see our progress.
You don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, but at work, you get an annual review. Should you be doing that for yourself as well, at least once a year? You want to get better at your job, but how more important it is to become the best version of yourself.
Don’t let fear and insecurity keep you from shining. Own your story, own your dreams.
Find an accountability partner or support group.
To accomplish your goals, you need people around you who will support you, cheer you up, give honest feedback.
For me, it’s my husband - he believes in me, supports my dreams and offers a shoulder to cry on when I fail at times 😊. You need people in your corner, so learn to invest in people you can be a support for and who can support you.
Is your goal to get more fit? Get a gym buddy. You admire someone, and they are your role model? Invite them for a cup of tea, learn from their wisdom. Then, when you do achieve those goals, it will be that much more fun to share your joy with those who were with you every step of the way.
Every day is a new day to do better.
Don’t let one day’s failure set you back. Get up every day with a mindset that you have another chance to make your dreams come true. I remember one pastor would say: “The only people who don’t make mistakes are those who don’t do anything, even though that’s the biggest mistake of their life.”
Progress - that’s what is important. Don’t quit just because you fail today - you overslept and missed the gym. Just because one day you did not follow your plan precisely doesn’t mean you can’t achieve your goal.
Use the new day as an opportunity to regroup and attack your goals with vigor. Then, celebrate the small victories and progress, not the perfection.
In conclusion, I want to reassure all of you that this article is not about self-hatred, and not written to perpetuate guilt or shaming. It’s not meant to make you feel down on yourself or plant a seed in your head that perfection is the goal everyone should be aiming for, and you are falling short.
This blog is to encourage you and me to do better, to self-reflect from time to time and ask yourself the question:
“What can I be doing better?”
One of my goals for this year, one I have been thinking and discussing with my husband a lot, was to start a blog. You can see I am making my goals become a reality, and I hope you like spending your time here, reading my thoughts while enjoying your cup of tea.
Share your goals and dreams with me. I would love to know what your New Year’s Resolutions are.
Leave comments below. I would love to connect and get to know you better.
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